Free room and board? I think NOT!

The other day (2 days ago), I walked into my room and heard a BUZZING NOISE! I looked onto my window and saw this:

A wasp! It was terrifying! I frantically searched my room for a cup. Finding none, I ran upstairs. There I promptly forgot about the terrifying intruder, as my loving family distracted me. I didn't do anything about it, and when I remembered the horrible beast, I forgot how frightening and menacing he was. I decided to wait until my dad got home, so he could "take care" of the ferocious creature.

Obviously, the wasp had *brainwashed* me! I could almost picture him as this:

Alas, he wasn't. The next day, (yesterday) I remembered him (only because I saw him again, sadly, I don't have the best memory. Maybe I had just blocked him from my mind). He was huge and scary and ready to sting me! (please take into account that I haven't been afraid of bees or wasps since I was a relatively small child, but this is different. Way different) I ran upstairs and retrieved a cup, this time intent on nobody derailing me. I came downstairs to conquer the beast.

This is Heinous Diabolical Fiend. His name is really a mouthful, so you could really go by any of his names, because each and every one describes him fully. He was climbing all over my window sill when I came downstairs. I was about to capture this repugnant little brute when I noticed something:

Depraved Malevolent Vile. His friend. Climbing up my window, just inches away from my trembling hand. It is my opinion that he is closely related to the devil himself. How else could he come to deserve a name like that, might I ask? Upon finding the second wasp in my bedroom, I called for backup.

My dear sister came into my room to help me rid the house of these odious insects... until we noticed something crawling on top of my scriptures:

Iniquitous Sinister Pernicious. Crawling. On. My. Scriptures. Actually, he was crawling out from BEHIND my scriptures, so I had every reason to believe that there might be a nest in the space between the pages and the cover, you know, the place where this thing goes?

Anyway, I was rightfully terror-stricken. There very well may have been a wasp nest in my scriptures! Horrified, I did my best to remove Heinous from my window sill. I was very traumatized, so my dear sister removed him for me. Using a plastic cup and my trusty clipboard, she transported Heinous to the great outdoors.

Using my newly-obtained courage, I extracted Depraved and Iniquitous. As soon as they were gone from my room, I vacated the area so as to never see or remember them. You see, I was still under the impression that there was a wasp nest in my room. This might not seem scary to you, but it is. A wasp nest. As in a huge place where all these wasps live so they can sting me/murder me in my sleep whenever it suits them best. This deleterious, scarring, inimical sight is a wasp nest:

This is what could have been in my room. Sickening, isn't it? There isn't one, thank goodness. But I'm still sleeping in my dear sister's room for the next week. or two weeks. or, if worse comes to worse, I will move out of the house and begin my life as a hobo.

But I'm hoping it will only be a week, because I like my space:]

xoxo katie